Spent
by DreamSweeper
Summary: The clock starts ticking and the race begins. What happens when we run out of the time we once though we had? Rated T, revisions WILL be made! I promise!


Hi! I'm Dreamsweeper, welcome to my story! I have a beta, Ducky, who's actually my little sister, but a bit busy with getting ready for her second year of college... so I'm doing this one on my own (aaah!). Anyway, enjoy, let me know what you think, and I'll be forever and always grateful for it!

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**Spent**

"O die, to sleep--To sleep--perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub,For in that sleep of death what dreams may come"  
~ Shakespeare's Hamlet, III, 1.

The beep-beep-beeping noise woke me. I opened my eyes and the bright white fluorescent lighting burned my eyes. I squeezed them shut and groaned.

"Baby?" I heard a voice from beside me. "Bella, are you awake?"

"Mom?" My voice was raspy and it hurt to talk. It felt dry, like sandpaper.

"Bella, we were so worried, I thought I'd lost you."

I felt my mind blink. I'd heard this before. Flashes of broken mirror, the musky smell of gasoline, and terrifying scarlet eyes. My mother had said that before, after James tricked and attacked me. But when I woke up that time, _he _was there. I opened my eyes and ignored the burning feeling of the lights hitting my eyes. Renee sat next to my hospital bed; dark circles under her wide eyes, her hair looked unkempt.

"Mom?" I couldn't think of what to ask, where to start, how I got there, so I repeated myself.

"Baby, you were in an accident." My mind raced with the memories that were so distant they were almost from another life.

"Where am I?" I heard the heart monitor in the background picking up speed.

"You're in the hospital in Port Angeles. You had to be airlifted-"

Her words blended together when they reached my ears. I was in an accident. I couldn't remember, my head was spinning, and Renee kept talking. I shook my head and a burst of pain shot out of my left shoulder. I cried out, and Renee sat forward in her chair.

"Are you alright? I'll go get the nurse, she'll, I'll just go get her…" My mother stood quickly and ran out the door still talking. She looked panicked.

I looked around, the pain in my shoulder radiating through my body. I could see the darkened Washington sky and the falling rain, but I couldn't hear it. The pain was so overwhelming that I could almost hear it drumming in my ears. It may have been my blood pumping too fast, but regardless, it hurt. A lot.

The nurse walked quickly into the room with Renee trailing after her. She fiddled with my IV, and my shoulder kept pounding. I felt a tear roll down my cheek. It hurt so much.

"Hi dear, glad to see you're awake. Your mother says you're in pain." I nodded, biting down on my lip. Why was she speaking so calmly? Put the needle in the IV already!

"On a scale of one to ten-"

"Ten!" I ground out. I closed my eyes, trying to hinder more tears from flowing. I felt Renee hold my right hand. A few seconds passed that felt like an eternity. And a numbing sensation washed over me. It surrounded me and the pain faded. I drifted, floated, and heard my mom talking to the nurse, bits and pieces floating through the haze that kept me blissfully separated from any other sensations.

"…need her rest. We can start chemo sooner…"

"… didn't catch it before…"

"…centers that specialize in this kind…"

I heard my mother crying, wanted to ask her what was wrong, but the haze swept me away and I couldn't remember anything after that.

When I woke up again, there was still pain, but not debilitating. I opened my eyes to see Charlie sitting in Renee's chair. He looked haggard, unshaven. Worse than Renee, and looking at some magazine. Even though I was happy to see my dad, I had hoped that maybe, just maybe, I would wake up to see _him_ instead.

"Hi dad." I rasped out.

"Bells!" He dropped the magazine, scooted forward in the chair, and took my right hand. It had been a while since I had seriously seen my dad. I had looked at his face almost every day, but couldn't remember recently seeing him. His eyes were tired, and something else lurked in his gaze. It scared me.

"Dad, what happened?"

"You crashed into a tree, Bells. On the way home from school. Dr. Aguilar thinks you may have passed out."

"How long have I been in here?"

"Four days. You bumped your head pretty good there, Bells. Broke your left collar bone and bruised some ribs. You had a collapsed lung, too. But you'll be alright now. You'll be alright."

I closed my eyes. Opening them again, I stared at the ceiling. There was a small brown water spot above my bed. Charlie repeated himself. He never did that.

"What else is wrong, dad?"

"Bells?"

"Dad, you're voice… it's got something in it. You're not telling me something."

"Bella!" My mom came into the room.

"Hi mom." She pulled the chair next to the bathroom door to the other side of my bed, and gingerly took my left hand. I looked left, then right. Renee and Charlie looked at me with sad eyes, and I couldn't sit still. Something was going on; something not good. I heard my heart monitor's tempo speed up again, and felt my heart starting to pound in my bruised ribs.

"Ok, seriously, what is going on?"

Charlie looked at Renee, and Renee looked at Charlie. I could see a wordless argument taking place between them. Renee took a deep breath.

"Baby, you were sick when you hit the tree."

A wave of memories hit me in one instant, like a dream I had suddenly remembered. I hadn't been feeling well for a while. I'd been at school that day and almost passed out at lunch, went to the nurse's office, and signed myself out and, well that was it. I didn't remember anything after that.

I nodded, "I thought I had a cold. I couldn't shake it, I had it for weeks."

Charlie tightened his grip on my hand. I looked in my dad's eyes and saw grief. Oh God.

"Bella," I heard my mom begin.

"I'm sick, aren't I? Like, really sick."

"You have leukemia, Bella."

"What? That's impossible… I'm fine. I mean, except for the crashing into a tree part."

"Bella, they did blood work on you and Dr. Aguilar says that you had a high level of white blood cells."

"Who is Dr. Aguilar?" I felt my volume rising, this just couldn't be. "We don't even know what his specialty is, or anything! He might be wrong."

"I'm a pediatric oncologist for Olympic Memorial." I heard from the doorway. The doctor strode in, short in _her_ white lab coat, and I was immediately embarrassed for my outburst.

"Hi Bella, I'm Doctor Kathryn Aguilar." Dr. Aguilar was a round Hispanic doctor, with a warm smile and wearing peach colored scrubs. She took a seat on the round physician's chair. A professional look of concern took over her smile. "Dr. Wilson from the ER forwarded me your lab results when he saw the abnormal blood work results. We ran a few more while you were here, MRI's, the works."

"And?" I prompted. I didn't mean to be impatient, but when a word like leukemia is said, it feels like a race for time begins.

"You have T-Cell Prolymphocytic Leukemia. It's a rare and aggressive form of cancer. More so for a young woman…"

"Dr. Aguilar, I don't really think I'm that sick, I just have a cold-"

"That's been lingering for what, a month or two? When you look in the mirror, are you more pale than normal? Achy bones, fatigue?"

I nodded.

"Can I ask, Bella, if you've been finding odd bruises that you don't remember getting?"

I nodded again. I thought it was just an influx of my normal clumsy state.

"Those are all symptoms of a leukemic disease. That's why you passed out on the way home from school. You're blood work only confirms it…"

All at once, I couldn't hear anything. A loud snap, like a breaking guitar string sprung in my head, and I couldn't hear at all save for the reverberating sound of broken string.

I had leukemia. Leukemia. I'd seen commercials for children's hospitals that try and find cures for leukemia. The babies with the cancer-bald heads filled my vision, and I quickly wondered if I would be that bald soon. Leukemia. It sounded horrible, and it tasted filthy as it rolled across my tongue over and over again, unbidden by me. I heard Dr. Aguilar still talking, but with all of the medical jargon, I felt the world spinning. I wanted Edward. Why wasn't he here? I could finally think his name, but only after I found out that I had a horrible disease. I felt my hands being tugged, and suddenly I was back in the room with Charlie, Renee, and Dr. Aguilar.

"...lifespan is significantly shortened by the disease-"

"Wait, what?" I cut off Dr. Aguilar, "How significant is significantly shortened exactly?"

Dr. Aguilar's eyes wouldn't make contact with mine. She looked at her chart and then up at me.

"Most patients do not survive beyond a year." The hospital room became quiet again.

"A year?" I heard Renee whisper. I looked past her to my view of the falling rain outside.

"But that is predominantly in patients in their late seventies. With Bella being so young, if we commit to an aggressive treatment plan, we should be able to increase that."

"By how much, doctor?" I heard my dad ask.

"Maybe months, maybe a couple of years. I've contacted several colleagues about this specific type. There is a newer form of treatment that I'd like to pursue for Bella…"

I couldn't take anymore and I zoned out. For three months since they'd left, since Edward left, I'd been passing through life as if it were a punishment; going through the motions in order to make it through to the next day. Suddenly, I knew that very soon I wouldn't have a "next day."

And in the back of my mind, I knew that I had to make a decision. I could fight, or I could accept my fate. I knew that Edward was gone. He didn't want me. And I was not going to become immortal. I was going to die, and soon. No matter which way I looked at it, I was going to die. Looking out my window and beyond the misty rain, I knew what my decision was.

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Ok, so thats it for right now! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! Gracias, merci, thank you, and thanks.


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